Thursday, 4 December 2008

I'm RICH!!

I've checked my inbox this morning and I have won over £13 MILLION Pounds in various lotteries I never entered!

How much is YOUR inbox worth? Can anybody beat me?


Cato said...

Isn't it amazing how much you can win?
My record is 10 grand.
Sadly, there's still twats out there will fall for it.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Had to get rid of my old e mail cos of the cunts. There's only so many times you need to be told you have a small cock.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

And erection problems.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

And how to sexually satisfy your wife.

Mike Rouse said...

I would love to count, but I am too high from all the drugs I was emailed about last week and still sporting a hell of a hard-on from all the viagra shipped the week before.

Lord Elvis of Paisley said...

Some guys have all the luck...

wv: morse (no shit)

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Sad thing is, Cunt McBroon is responding to his e mails hoping to save the economy.

Anonymous said...

What is all the fuss about?

Through my spam folder I have had the great fortune of getting to know, via e-mail, a most pleasant gentleman from Nigeria. He seems very well connected and has shit loads of money for some reason. He has even sent me some photos of him and his family. He sent me his home address too and I am considering paying him and his good family a visit early next year.

He is very keen for me to allow him to use my small part of the first class banking system we have in the UK in order to assist him in the liquidation of his vast Nigerian assets.

Gordon's stunning world vision has inspired me to help those less fortunate than myself.

Anonymous said...

Slightly O/T but Merv and his pals have just lopped another 1% off rates.


Leg-iron said...

Today I find that I have restricted access to my account in Capital One bank - which is a bonus because until then, I had no account there at all.

I respond to every knob-enlarging advert I get, with the result that I can now whip old ladies out of the way with it. Trouble is, they didn't mention that as it gets longer, it gets thinner.

And you can't have won that lottery, OH, I won it yesterday. Five times. I'll be sending one of the Russian wives I ordered round to collect it later.

Anonymous said...

We have won against plodscumfilth at ECHR.Marper vs South Yorkshire Constabulary & L vs Sth Yorks shite NO Illegal retention of DNA of innocent people. WE ARE WINNING!

Old Holborn said...

The Law is to remain on the books until they think of something else.

A battle may have been won, but the war continues

mc_nebula said...

Sadly, I don't get money, I do however, get "1 year warranty Rep1icaWatches from $190, BvlgariRo1ex, Channel, LV, IWC, TagHeuer, Cartier csw f8" and 2No Degree No Job? Buy a Genuine College Degree at cheap price & deliver to you in 2 weeks, No study needed hex uh8i" and "88% Cheaper than others: 10-pills ViagraL=$33, 10-pills CailisY=$38, 10-pills Levitr=$54 hqurhq xx10"

GrumpyOldTwat said...

I have never won the lottery.
I have a very small, flacid cock.

My 'sexuals' have not been enhanced
and I am unable to satisy a female during sex

I have never been offered a free holiday
and I have no friends in Nigeria.

I am absolutely devoid of free porn
and have never had webcam sex.

A clairvoyant has never told me that I will fleeced
at some point in the future
and nobody from Ancestors Direct wants
to get in touch with me.

I am grumpy and old.

I put all this down to the fact that I have
an Apple Mac device and scammers
don't like fruity twats.

Bill Gates' gender-neutral plaything said...

Fuck off.

The Penguin said...

What I want to know is "how do they know"?

How do they know I have a small knob?

How do they know I am desperate for additional income, no questions asked?

It's the same with those clever cunts who draw the maps. You know, the ones that say "You Are Here".

How do they know?

The Penguin

Henry Crun said...

"How do they know I have a small knob?"

Penguin, perhaps it's your missus sending the penis enlargement emails.

deeply depressed said...

I've got a tiny knob, where are the adverts?

Steve Jobs' gender-neutral plaything said...


David said...

I'm just baiting a scammer as a war hero who is looking for a comfy retirement...I'm trying to see how despicable they can get with an 83 y.o. who is deaf and wheelchair bound.

The story will appear on 419 3at3r as it progresses...

K.McEgan said...

Old Holborn,you are right.I feel this means an abrogation of the slaves rights towards plod.The revolution will commence in January 2009.Please bring own pickaxe handles.

electro-kevin said...

I won 10 mil in a Nigerian Lottery ... and then had to bail out a princess in Lagos.

The bastards are quick enough to debit your account ... I'm still awaiting my 10 mil

Gordon's next quango - nigerian scams said...

Careful OH,

gordy's capable of taxing you on your 13 million.

The mere fact that it isn't real wouldn't trouble him.

Thud said...

13 mil?...almost enough to make me consider packing in work.

Chalcedon said...

I won $15 million last week but I have to send £450 to get my winnings. Wow! What a great deal.

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