Monday, 29 December 2008

Hogmanay 2008


I'm off for a few days to a Scottish Castle near Fort William with my good lady to drink, feast and be merry. As a member of the Buchanan Clan (although I am not a wife beater or herion addict, yet), I shall be suitably dressed in a stunning Buchanan dress kilt, without a doubt the loudest fucking tartan in the world.



I am assured the Campbells who own the place are very trustworthy and have told me they have full internet access. They never lie and are great hosts apparently. To be on the safe side, I am going to stab the fucker anyway. (He probably means the Cornish Internet ie. Ceefax)


27 comments:

Harrithebastard said...

OH

Have a great time , and could i please be the first in the queue to request an unsigned photo of you in a kilt , i want to put it into a frame and put it on top of my fireplace , it will help to keep the kids away from the fire .

How many whiskies will it take before you turn into the pub singer ? and completely fucking embarrass yourself .

Anonymous said...

OH,happy New Year and get as pissed as a fart, I will.

Cato said...

Have a great time...lovely part of the world...been there loads of times.
We used to have a History teacher named Buchanan. He was a loathsome bullying cunt.

A short wee shit of a man at whom we used to flick our fountain pens...all down the back of his suit.
It made up for his lamentable taste in suit material...made it look much more homely.

Cato said...

PS, if it's 12 miles up a forestry road...I know exactly where you're going.

Dick the Prick said...

Nowt wrong with that as a plan. Have a good 'un. I'd take some fucking thermals though for when you're not in company - could prevent you having the 7th (although the booze & cigars should take care of that).

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Cato, you may be referring to Ardverikie but I don't think that is Campbell country.
OH, have a splendid evening, do what you will with the scotch but please get a lift home.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Never trust a Campbell, look what they did to the macdonalds! The cunts. I'm sure you will have al splendid time, however steer clear of any weegie bastards.

Chris said...

Never trust a Campbell, look what they did to the macdonalds!

Come off it. Who *hasn't* trashed McDonalds when they've been a bit pissed and the burgers are taking too long. ;-)

clochoderic said...

http://www.inveraray-castle.com/Pages/content.asp

That place?

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

Feast and be merry in scotland???
FFS Have yoou ever been before?
the foods shite and the people grumpy wankers(now we know your one the cunts it explains everything)
Two thing id enjoy up in shitalnd would a cull of the natives and then leaving

john said...

Have a good one.

I'll be getting an early night as usual. Might get up at 2am to firebomb the neighbours if their party is still dragging on.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Why are we disliked so much? It's not our fault Fucknut McBroon ended up ruining the country!

lilith said...

Found a photo of you here

http://www.the-house-of-tartan.com.au/HighlanderBuch1.jpg

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

By the way, kilts are for sheep shagging highlanders. Being a lowlander I have never worn one in my life, and don't plan to.

Angry of SE1 said...

Stonefield Castle?

Buchanan is pronounced Puke-Cannon isn't it? I expect this will be a reality on the morning of 1 Jan 2009!

Elby the Beserk said...

Rab

Yes it fucking is. The hoon should have been put down at birth.

OH, are these Campbells Bredaulbin (sp?), Cawdor, or the other mob whose name escapes me now? Calfy one of the former.

Happy Hogmatooty. Death to all hoons. I'm spending the next few days irritating that hoon Harris enormously. He deletes 99% of my posts, but it at least takes up his time. Can't understand why he is rated, he's like his fucking boss, he never gives a straight answer to anything.

Anonymous said...

Have a great time OH - Hogmany is very big in Jockland so you should have a ball.

lilith said...

Bredalbane, Elby. And Argyll is the other. They are pretty much all Argyll in the West.

Lady Cawdor once said to my mother out law
"Oh! I thought you were all dead!" when mother out law said she was a Bredalbane Campbell.

Cornish - obviously said...

Cornish Internet ? - fuck off you cunt.

wv:conque

Ellis said...

That'll be the Ashkenazi branch, then ?

Anita said...

Rab C. Nesbitt asked...Why are we disliked so much? It's not our fault.
Yes it bloody is!
The loathing is mainly associated with the noise scotch people make with their mouths. Occasionally this may be passed-off as a cute regional dialect, but having endured the incoherent weegies in Parliament and the voice-meejia and having suffered the ignominy of having to try to conduct a fruitless telephone conversation with a jockanese speaker, where both parties resorted to the International Phonetic Alphabet to impart meaning; I am happy to confirm that I am no fan of the generally pissed-up arkwekanachanzs.

Carter said...

Hoots Mon! Best TV commercial ever!

Bob said...

Bugger.

Snowed all last night so that's my New Years Eve fucked. Try riding a scooter in snow.

Happy New Year OH and if you see Stan say hello.

Lech Waleska said...

Great post Stan. Brilliant. Best yet.

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Handy Hint For Hung-Over Hogmanay Hotel Guests.
Get to the Fresh Fruit Salad in the hotel breakfast room early, rootle out the pineapple chunks and red grapes with all those free radical destroying Antioxidants.

Leave the rubbish apple slices to the lazy lie-in crowd and watch them suffer !

Shug Niggurath said...

Happy new year OH!

yellowbelly said...

Never trust a Campbell, look what they did to the macdonalds!

===

Nice soup, shit burgers.

Happy New Year!

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