Thursday, 6 November 2008

Jacqui Smith. Weapons Grade Cuntbubble

" I used to be a man"

I sent the harridan a copy of 1984 and what does the cow do?


Supermarkets could be asked to take people's fingerprints as part of the government's identity card scheme.

Why do I bother? The Home Office is talking to retailers about THEM taking your fingerprints for your shiny new ID card. The day Tessa Cohens finest decide they want to harvest my fingerprints (no doubt passing my loyalty card data to the Gummint as well) is the day I obtain a strange fascination with petrol and matches.

UPDATE: There IS a God. NO2ID have managed to get her fingerprints


Tuscan Tony said...

Too late, squire, the Tesco loyalty card info has been sold to the Inland Revenue for at least the past 4 years.

More excitingly, my great uncle was an old friend of Jack Cohen's and was in fact Tesco's first MD - some more useless info for you this morning.

Old Holborn said...

TT, the pub where we met had a lunchtime menu.

"Succulent pieces of chicken and mushroom enrobed in a light puff pastry"


Billy Wallace said...

I've always loved making fires since the age of five,

you could say I'm now an expert.

Anonymous said...

The first time I go into Tescos & they ask about my fingerprints will be the day that a huge shopping basket of unpaid items is dumped at checkout & the last time I cross their threshold. Will big supermarket chains really run the risk of being blacklisted by voters who are against ID cards?

Old Holborn said...

Not just retailers


"Good morning Sir"

"2 1st class stamps please"

"Certainly Sir. Just put your hand on this scanner"

Anonymous said...

Your mate Tom Harris is open to be teased about Glenrothes; but there is little future in driving traffic to his site.

Sir Henry Morgan said...


Join the club. I first set fire to my sister's cot when I was two. I didn't like the bitch then and I fckin HATE her now (54 yrs later). She's younger than me but she IS going to die before me. I get on fine with my other brothers and sisters - and they hate the bitch too.

Set fire to the whole house at nine.

And if OH's local TESsa COhen is the same as mine he's going to have to get up very early in the morning with his matches.

Ian B said...

Corporate state. Government is everywhere, because everything is part of the government. Or governance, rather, as we bright young things call it these days.

It's one of those things actually that many people don't seem to have quite sussed about Call Me Dave and his "post bureaucratic" twaddle. He's just offering to smear the governance out a bit more, to charities and things like that. He has no intention of reducing it. Government itself does less specifically, but is the hub that supplies authoritah to the corpori, corporati, whatever.

Reminds me of reading The Rise And Fall Of The Third Reich, years ago, where it made the point that in National Socialist Germany, *everything* was National Socialist branded from holidays to school chess clubs. It's the one big happy family thing, socialism without class struggle or, in the case of this form of progressive socialism, the technocratic tyranny of the bourgeoisie, or something that sounds like that, I dareway.

We're so screwed, it's quite beyond belief.

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

"somebody" has just got her fingerprints (+:
Oh what larks

geoff been in said...

Old Holborn

Can I interest you in wolf canapes?

In this finacial tsunami I believe TT is expanding his olive oil empire to include this delicacy. Apparently he hunts the beasts in the hills surrounding his little pile in Tuscany.

UK is being Tesco'd and I expect that they will soon have to main agency to capture fingerprints - every little bit helps you know.

Dave said...

Tesco and the Post Office can't even run checks on their job applicants so how on earth are they going to be allowed to take our fingerprints?
Best job plan for a would be terrorist/illegal alien?
Get a job at Tesco on the ID counter. One fingerprint for you, one fingerprint for me. There, that my ID sorted. I'm now Jacqui Smith.
Where's the tipping point for social unrest?
At what point will they have to empty the prisons of crims in order to house the likes of us?

William Nicholson said...

Thank God I've shopped at my last frikking supermarket. I seem to have chopped off my hands too. I used to be a pianist, and now look what the governingment made me do...! Blood everywhere!

Tuscan Tony said...

Geoff - they're very Heston Blumenthal, and yes, there are wolves less than 10 miles from here.

Word verify: manky. Excellent.

Chipmunk said...

You are all just being nihilistic and adding to the sense of futility.

Anonymous said...

Tesco are the biggest crooks in the country. Just a side note, I use my phone to browse, and always have extreme difficulty getting on the the comments section on this blog, and worryingly, other like minded blogs.

electro-kevin said...

You'll probably find she hasn't got fingerprints. Suckers, more like.

BristolDave said...

Anonymous @ 16.34 - it's probably because this blog and others pop the comments up in a new window, which the (rather primitive) browsers on phones can't really handle.

Here endeth the IT lesson.

P.S. Jacqui Smith is a cunt of the highest order. Look at her arrogant expression in that photo. Her copy of 1984 probably went straight into the bin.

She'll regret doing that.

BristolDave said...

On the subject of loyalty cards I gave them up a good few years ago not because of the privacy issue (though that would stop me now) but because they stopped giving any kind of worthwhile rewards for using them. Spend £30,000 in Sainsburys before you can get a one-way ticket on the Eurostar with the Nectar Points? Um yeah, OK - that sounds like a fucking great deal.

Word Ver: Statisti. Seriously. I think that should be Jacqui's new title.

Arkangel said...

'Ere, what's going on? That yahoo page you mention OH, is missing.

word kidding

SaltedSlug said...

Just read the NO2ID thing.
Laugh? I think I've just come.

Anonymous said...

BristolDave, my phone browser works fine on other blogs, blogs not connected to the subject matter on here. On Obnoxios blog I have the same trouble for instance. Coincidence?

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

Mr Slug
That could explain the splashes on your toecaps that I noted.

SaltedSlug said...

The day was so exciting that I quite forgot myself...

Old Holborn said...

I wouldn't worry about it Slug, Beast usually shits in the sink

some english bloke said...

Jaqui Smith has made herself worthy of the Lacerated Clit award for Smug Cuntitude.

TT, "the Tesco loyalty card info has been sold to the Inland Revenue"; having long suspected something of the sort I have never held a loyalty card of any kind and make as many transactions as possible in cash.

Is there any confirmation that Tesco has in fact agreed to be main harvester of biometric details and fingerprints or is it just Ma Smith gobbing off ?

SaltedSlug said...

I swear to christ, there is no-one right now who I detest more than Jacqui Smith.
'It's not safe to walk the streets after dark' she says. That's because you've got a face like a bag of damp cement which is just begging to be twatted into new and interesting shapes with a shovel.

I wouldn't cross the road to piss on her if she was on fire. Unless I could piss petrol. Or cancer.

Kippers Dickie said...

"Will big supermarket chains really run the risk of being blacklisted by voters who are against ID cards?"
Spot on Anon.
These buggers have £ signs in their
eye-balls, they won't do anything that might cut profits.
They won't even stop giving away free bags in case they upset customers and they won't introduce
"booze queues" either.

marksany said...

Our Jackie never said that my ID Card will also work as my Tesco loyalty card. This changes everything; I want mine NOW!

david warren said...

Do you think if we could get the majority of the UK population to agree that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith IS actually a cunt, a judge might pass a civil motion so that it would officially be recognised? Failing that, let's get Cunt = Jacqui Smith into Urban Dictionary...

Anonymous said...

jacqui smith is hot, i would love to give her one

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