Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Hazel Blears

"I'm standing up, you know"

I'm a nobody. But I still managed to walk into Millbank after my walk this evening to a Hansard speech by our favourite chipmunk, Hazel Blears. (seriously. Try it, all of you. Nobody stopped me AND I had my Guido Fawkes outfit)

I was interested in what she had to say regarding blogging. The cow.

She certainly didn't like what I had to say (although, I have to admit, she was willing to fight her corner, though the twat next to her wasn't having any of it)

OH: I'm just a simple blogger. I'm not right wing but I am cynical. 25,000 people a week read my blog which merely contains my opinions. I am not paid to blog and if people don't like it, they won't come to my blog. Why do 25,000 a week come to my blog Hazel? By the way, the Police stopped me on my way here.

Chipmunk: Er...The police stopped you?

OH: Why do you want to regulate my "opinions"? I appreciate you can manipulate the media via Yachts and peerages but surely you can't hope to manipulate millions of ordinary voices writing what they feel?
Chipmunk: Er...
OH: Well, you are of course aware that the EU is trying to introduce licensing for bloggers

Chipmunk: Er..

Hazel, it is going to end in tears.

"Get out of that fucking chair before I call the SAS"

UPDATE: Shit, how rude am I? Massive hat tips to Guido, DK, Swiss Bob and most of all, the people who took time out of their time to show up today. You know who you are (well apart from the Beast) and I am genuinely grateful. A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Thanks for the comments, all of you, including Dollys lot. As Derek has told you, those who own the present, get to write History.

UPDATE 2: This little thing followed us around all day. It was already waiting for us at the pub. Still, if you've done nothing wrong eh?
(parked on double yellows too, I thought that was a capital offence)


Bex said...

Ok, I am cackeling madly here O.H. brillent lol :D

Martin said...

Oddly, those "ers" contain more substance than the sum of everything else she's ever said in office. They showed one thing, that we all knew: she doesn't have a fucking clue what she's doing, and on top of that, when her authority is challenged, she can't defend herself.

Sciatico said...

Of course the cow will now be even more determined to silence everyone.

Old Holborn said...


Let her and the EU try

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Well,if you didn't burst her bubble you certainly got in a small prick

eu007 said...

Great stuff. Keep it up.

no longer anonymous said...


John Pickworth said...

Well done my friend.

Kinda love the irony of a blogger invading the real world of the politician after the same politician thought it clever to stick her unwanted nose into the world of the bloggers.

This is taking fisking to a whole new level... love it :-)

Leg-iron said...

OH, have you been out bullying blurry midgets?

I doubt she'll have an answers. She's only doing what the EU tell her to do. Just like all the others.

Now it seems the EU have decided we can't opt out of the Working Time directive even though the Prime Monster himself wants to. Fortunately I don't record my hours, and since I'm the boss, I won't be requiring myself to. It's bad news for those who depend on that overtime though.

Still, it'll give them all more time to set up their own blogs. I wonder what they'll say?

Bemused Wolf said...

Haha! Old Holborn, you Sir are in danger of becoming a friggin' modern LEGEND!

Thank you!

Shades said...

You, sir, have more front than Blackpool.

I was far too lily-livered to join you, alas. I had an excuse, I had a CEE17 plug to change on a SAN.

It will be interesting to read the Press not picking this up as they'll just print the Press Release...

Were you followed home, by chance?

matt said...


You didn't happen happen to record it did you? I'm looking for a transcript.


Press release? Where?

Matt Wardman

Anonymous said...

My how the system has crumbled with your incisive analysis. And blimey, sitting in the wrong chair eh? How hard are you you brave twat.

dick the prick said...

OH - I, like Bex am cakling up here in Yorkshire. Excellent stuff - Bravo!

Someone over on GF said the plastic coppers started shouting at tourists trying to take your pics! I'd be bloody furious if I wasn't so disgusted.

John Pickworth said...

The Register is running a couple of pieces about Hazel's words on blogging, about mardy Tom Harris's introduction to 1984 and certain people Fawkesing about in London yesterday... Just the sort of leads the lazy MSM Journo's like to pick up for free. (wink)

Anonymous said...

Dick, you are indeed a prick. I could be gracious and suggest you're just following Bex who is demonstrably incapable of spelling correctly. But I won't because you just don't deserve it.

Are you really 'cakling'? If so can I suggest a large cork be rammed up your arse to prevent any further damage being done to the carpets.

If of course you are 'cackling', that of course is a different matter.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Dolly Draper's Erudite Fiskers appear to be out in force, counteracting the corrosive nature of blogging.

regular visitor said...

Disquieted by Dick Puddlecote's mention of a spycam in a car outside the pub (see Guido).

Afer I participated in earlier happening in the Capital, without having worn a mask or broken the law, some thoroughly rum doings ensued, including what I am 99% certain was a tapped phone.

If I went into further details, others would probably diagnose me as a paranoiac - but I suspect that this is precisely the idea.

I am ashamed not to have joined you and it also sounds like it was excellent fun.

Just watch your back, is all. As if you needed telling, the authorities ARE cunts.

Anonymous said...

I really am impressed, you did a great thing.


dick the prick said...

I am a prick - how observant. You've missed your calling numbnuts - perhaps the WI need a gimp to ensure that their jam based cakes conform to current standards. You must be a rather boring person - nip over to e-bay sweetie - I've heard they're selling lives at discount rates, rub those two ha'pennies together and treat yourself.

Anonymous said...

Cheers Dick. Your apology is accepted. I would though recommend a pocket OED. It would help you through those difficult 'big' words.

cornyborny said...

My heartfelt thanks and admiration go to OH and fellow walkers. Inspirational.

Old Holborn said...

Interesting that so many politicians are now trying to take control of the internet, in an attempt to stifle criticism or "negative opinions".

What is that phrase they often use on us proles?

" If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear"

It applies to the 646 as well, you know

Bob said...

Morning all,

Can confirm the spycar outside the pub, 'someone' and myself waved, fuck 'em.

Am trying in vain to upload videos and photos to you tube, OH will maybe link the one's he likes, I will open my blog later in the week when back in Switzerland and have time to edit them so I don't look like too much of a cunt.

To those of you who didn't make it, too bad. Was a great crack.

Will definitely try and make the next one and maybe we'll crash not just Millbank but the Houses of Parliament, masks, capes and all.

Any friendly MP want to volunteer to get us in?

Anonymous said...

A great day's work OH - love the comment either here or on Guido that Gay Pride started with just a very small number too.
Nice to see that the Ginger Midget did at least try to fight her corner. I wonder how aware are the Labour MPs of how hated & despised they are? Some of the backbenchers I understand are actually quite decent chaps & very good constituency MPs. Maybe we should have an information & subversion action (of Labour MPs)pootling quietly along in the background?

Tuscan Tony said...

Is she standing on a crate in the first pic?

Anonymous said...

Doh - they were not chasing you in secret cars after all - it was just traffic enforcement!

ranter said...

was just traffic enforcement!


David Davis (not that one, the other one) said...

Well done. Wish I lived nearer.

woman on a raft said...

perhaps the WI need a gimp to ensure that their jam based cakes conform to current standards.

Currant standards are for Eccles cakes.

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

I even drank your cider

Tuscan Tony said...

Beast, he wouldn't have recognised you without your ukelele.

Well done all - just a nosey fucker - no offence intended said...


OH didn't recognise The Beast.

I suspect Cherkenwell was cunningly disguised as (drum roll) non other than female PCSO CW 7150. Does my bum look big in Parliament Square?

Also, either Guido has lost a lot of weight since Newsnight or the photographers could not fit his (cough) ampleness into frame.

The lad who was stopped for a friendly chat on the should have thought to cover afterward, or perhaps but a coat from Oxfam prior to getting the train.

Old Holborn said...

Beast, you drank everyones cider. The last I saw of you before you dashed off to your anger management course, you were riffling through the cleaning cupboard looking for meths.

Bleary vision said...

My God... you actually asked one of the Leadership Classes a question?

That will never do. Tere'll be rumblings in the seats of power tonight, I bet.

The Beast Of Clerkenwell said...

Mr Holborn
If you want to see a true freeloader in action wait until you meet TT.
He claims to be doubly incontinent and rushes towards the bogs everytime his round comes up, that or says "oooo my credit card doesnt work" and "can anybody change these Euros?"
He then tries to get off with women young enough to be his daughter.
I talk to strippers and start a fight with the landlord.
North Vs South its a cultural thing.

David Smith said...

Best wishes and congratulations!

Sam Duncan said...

Bravo, OH.

I'd be inclined to phone up my local council and report a grey Smart, registration KU56 BTY, illegally parked if I were you. You have evidence. Even if they twig, it'll keep the bastards occupied for a few minutes, during which they can't harass anybody else.

curly15 said...

Funny you should mention CCTVs, I found 90 during my little stroll on your behalf.

marksany said...

Proper job, OH. Good to see someone sticking it to 'em.

Anonymous said...

I was at the meeting, and you made a fool of yourself. Hazel put you down, and everyone laughed.

Old Holborn said...


Hello Dolly

marksany said...

Warning! Rebuttal unit in full swing!

Shades said...

Anon 16:22- you are Derek draper and I claim my £5.

The speech is up on the Hansard Society conference website here:

Kippers Dickie said...

Officials balancing web debates

Director of transformational strategy at the COI Alex Butler told Public Servant Daily that entering into blog conversations ……. should be "part and parcel of professional life for staff".
…….to ensure any discussions on public services among citizens are balanced by an authoritative view from inside Whitehall.
Just because it happens online does not mean government can ignore it. It can be a powerful tool."
But she did make it clear that during any online interaction, Whitehall staff would need to make their identities known

More worrying interference from HMG ?

sim carlos said...

that is soo funny!!!

Online DBA Degree | doctorate degree accounting | Bachelors degree Software Engineering

gamefan12 said...

I think this is has to be the funnest thing that i ever saw.denver mesothelioma lawyers

angel said...

If I were to wager a guess at why, I’d say that users don’t “browse” forms. The interaction style users engage in with forms is different, and requires its own study and design best practices. This is a very interesting post, and the comments are also fantastic to read. I’ll have poses to have a little re-think about my own contact form on our new website, as this some interesting questions!
degree home

Ratings and Recommendations by outbrain


Related Posts with Thumbnails