Friday, 17 October 2008

Rewriting History, bit by bit


Mrs Dale points out that a page on the ZNL website that used to shout about the 50 great things ZNL have done since becoming “elected” in 1997 has suddenly vanished.

Luckily Google cache still has it.

Here are the contents:

1. Longest period of sustained low inflation since the 60s. Highest rises on record

2. Low mortgage rates. Lie. Mortgage rates are high.

3. Introduced the National Minimum Wage and raised it to £5.52. Trapping millions on benefits

4. Over 14,000 more police in England and Wales. Sitting eating doughnuts whilst watching CCTV

5. Cut overall crime by 32 per cent. Prisons full, Jaqui Smith scared to go and get a kebab

6. Record levels of literacy and numeracy in schools. 1 in 5 children cannot read and write when they leave school

7. Young people achieving some of the best ever results at 14, 16, and 18. Have a GSCE A*. Plenty to go round for everyone

8. Funding for every pupil in England has doubled. OUR money wasted

9. Employment is at its highest level ever. Unemployment, including incapacity benefit has never been higher

10. Written off up to 100 per cent of debt owed by poorest countries. No you didn't.

11. 85,000 more nurses. - record numbers of nurses unemployed

12. 32,000 more doctors - record number of doctors unemployed and £100K for the rest. OUR money remember

13. Brought back matrons to hospital wards. - Liars

14. Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament. - They get to vote in England though

15. Devolved power to the Welsh Assembly. - ditto

16. Dads now get paternity leave of 2 weeks for the first time. - those who still have jobs

17. NHS Direct offering free convenient patient advice.- not FREE. WE pay for the NHS

18. Gift aid was worth £828 million to charities last year.- Again, OUR money you gave away to Lee Jasper and his ilk

19. Restored city-wide government to London - and now you hate it with Boris

20. Record number of students in higher education.- learning Wayne Rooney studies and Classic Hisory of Girls Aloud

21. Child benefit up 26 per cent since 1997. - Hence the swams of feral chavs belching Stella in taxpayers faces

22. Delivered 2,200 Sure Start Children’s Centres.- With OUR money

23. Introduced the Equality and Human Rights Commission.- allowing convcted Terrorists to live on benefits instead of being deported

24. £200 winter fuel payment to pensioners & up to £300 for over-80s. - 40% price rises in gas and electricity

25. On course to exceed our Kyoto target for reducing greenhouse gas emissions.- using OUR money to subsidise Renewable Power company profits

26. Restored devolved government to Northern Ireland. and bribing them £2B for 42 day vote

27. Over 36,000 more teachers in England and 274,000 more support staff and teaching assistants.- doing the worst job in history of educating our children

28. All full time workers now have a right to 24 days paid holiday - most will be working overtime instead

29. A million pensioners lifted out of poverty. and dumped straight back in it again

30. 600,000 children lifted out of relative poverty. and 2 million dumped in it again

31. Introduced child tax credit giving more money to parents. giving MY money to parents, you mean

32. Scrapped Section 28 and introduced Civil Partnerships. - no comment

33. Brought over 1 million social homes up to standard. - 42" Plasmas all round

34. Inpatient waiting lists down by over half a million since 1997. - one in 300 chance of dying of MRSA instead. Filthiest hospitals in Europe

35. Banned fox hunting. - Good

36. Cleanest rivers, beaches, drinking water and air since before the industrial revolution.- Largest fines for water companies contaminating it again

37. Free TV licences for over-75s. to watch celebrity pig wanking or Crimewatch

38. Banned fur farming and the testing of cosmetics on animals. - yet bomb children in Iraq

39. Free breast cancer screening for all women aged between 50-70. Not FREE. OUR money

40. Free off peak local bus travel for over-60s. Not FREE. OUR money

41. New Deal - helped over 1.8 million people into work. and straight back out again

42. Over 3 million child trust funds have been started. - WITH OUR MONEY

43. Free eye test for over 60s. to read their council tax bills with

44. More than doubled the number of apprenticeships. in call centre management or community cohesion studies, not engineering

45. Free entry to national museums and galleries. to while away the hours of unemployment

46. Overseas aid budget more than doubled. -whilst poverty reigns in the uk

47. Heart disease deaths down by 150,000 and cancer deaths down by 50,000. - in spite of you not giving people the drugs they need and have paid for over a lifetime

48. Cut long-term youth unemployment by 75 per cent. - replaced with incapacity benefit and prison

49. Free nursery places for every three and four-year-olds.- Allowing their mothers more time at the gym and nail studio

50. Free fruit for most four to six-year-olds at school. - Monkey see, monkey do.


Oh dear. No wonder the ministry of truth has got Winston to delete this little bit of history. The fucking cunts.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh be assured a rat hat awaits all those who doubt....

curly15 said...

I have a vision of you shaking 50 severed testicles in an over large festered sackcloth scrotum.

I wonder why?

Anonymous said...

When looking for work recently after being made redundant as a stores person for an aircraft manufacturer, my mum was told by an agency that she was a dinosaur and that all employment these days is telephone work.

So there you go. If you are doing something that doesn't involve making or receiving calls all day, you obviously don't have a job, because jobs like that don't exist these days.

leg-iron said...

The best part is, if they had left it there it might never have been noticed.

History is hard to lose now that Google stores it all. They'll have to add Google to the List of Terrible Websites when they bring in their web controls.

Like China did.

Anonymous said...

Banning fox hunting is a bad thing. If foxhunting is banned, why not halal slaughter? Better yet why not just keep both legal? Fuck the foxes & fuck you.

Anonymous said...

foxes are cunts - kill the fucking lot of 'em along with the blood sucking 'giro monkey' cunts too

Elby the Beserk said...

Might still be here as well (seems flushed from Google's cache) now ..

http://www.archive.org/web/web.php

Old Holborn said...

anonymong@2:14

Ban Halal as well then.

My glee at fox hunting being banned has nothing to do with foxes and everything to do with the landed gentry being told just once in the last thousand years to do as they are told, instead of the other way round.

They don't like it do they? More on Otis Ferry to follow

Mark Wadsworth said...

OH, that's a good summary (not that I agree on fox hunting, if you want to get one over the landowners we should cancel agrulcultural land subsidies), but even that google cache doesn't work, I tried elby's link but that was of no avail.

Try this

Anonymous said...

Banning Fox hunting was a massive anti countryside move which any true libertarian would see as being unjust.

I've never been fox hunting, but I have several friends who do hunt. It isn't about wealth, its about tradition and its about countryside. Nu Lab wanted revenge over the miners, and so went for the cute little foxes.
The number of businesses which suffered because of this block on free trade isn't usually mentioned - but its over 10K - MOST OF WHOM WERE NOT TOFFS!

You are just a class snob - hating the rich and hating the underclass, and you are no libertarian!

Old Holborn said...

Anonymong:

More than 10K businesses were wrecked by the abolition of slavery.

Your point?

I don't hate the rich. I am rich.

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