I’ve just been prodding around in cyberspace and found out that the BBC’s favourite lickspittle, Marcus Brigstock, the most unfunny man rimming the BBC’s arse since Lenny Henry, is doing something very, very special at the moment.
He is on a boat, funded by me (via the Arts Council) on it’s way to the Arctic Circle to “highlight” global warming. That alone is funny. IT would be even funnier if the fucker caught fire and sank.
The “expedition” is called Cape Farewell and it’s purpose is ~(hang on, I need to get this right):
Climate change is caused by the way we choose to live in our urban environment and a cultural shift of values could stabilise what is potentially a dangerous situation. The Cape Farewell voyagers have created provocative and compelling art, words and music that aim to inspire a response to this cultural challenge
Finished laughing yet? It gets better. Have a look at who is on the boat:
Oh, FOR FUCKS SAKE.
No longer are the eco idiots happy trying to tell me to stop driving my car, they have now taken to using utter fuckwits to ram this shit down my throat
I mean, they’ve sent a CHOREOGRAPHER on the trip
Siobhan Davies joined Cape Farewell on the 2005 Art/Science Expedition. Accustomed through her profession to using her body expressively,she found expression in the sub-zero temperatures of the High Arctic severely limited in nature and range. Her attention centred on her bones, skin, breath; the fragility of her material body versus the effort and basic purpose behind her every movement.
Back home in London Siobhan quickly formed the idea for a work that would embody some of the primal emotions and rational thoughts the journey had evoked for her. Working with fashion designer Jonathan Saunders, she created a projection, Endangered Species, in which a small,semi-human figure dances gracefully inside a museum display case, her movements exaggerated by a costume of long bending rods that increase in number as her dance progresses. While at first they liberate her by extending the boundaries of her body, the many rods eventually restrict and finally extinguish her small life form.
William Hunt's performance, Earth, Wind and Fire, was shown at the Westwerk gallery in 2007 as part of the Art and Climate Change exhibitoin series in Hamburg. For this exciting new commission William employed garden patio furniture; the patio heater, waterbutt, washing line and decking, creating a situation in which the body is at the mercy of earth, wind and fire. The work was also shown at Cape Farewell's Late Night Friday at Whitechapel - a night of new songs,performances, artworks and information prompted by the urgency of climate change.
William's endurance related performances involve a degree of musical performativity played out under some situation of physical duress; hanging upside down, spinning on a turntable and most recently under water.
Put Your Foot Down, 2006, saw a black BMW turned into a make shift aquarium. William filled the car with water, climbed into the driver's seat and taking deep gulps from an oxygen tank and sang out on exhalation. Narrative, set up through song is frustrated by physical restraints, evoking feelings of threat, danger and self-destruction. Hunt places himself at the centre of a sculptural tableaux and enacts a relentless, endless return to absurdity, mindful of the futility of grand gestures yet bound to show off
I give up. There is no more barrel to scrape.
I want to find out how much of my money is being wasted sending a fucking tribe of Islington Clitterarti to the Arctic and I want to find out how much extra it would cost for them to stay there forever.
Marcus, I hope you get frostbite on your face and it falls off. Now THAT would be funny. I hope you get eaten by a polar bear. Cunt.