Friday, 31 October 2008

Old Holborn is going for a walk

I like to keep fit. Walking is good. This year, I have decided that a brisk stroll is in order.
On November 5th 2008 at midday, I shall walk from Trafalgar Square to Parliament Square and then back to Trafalgar Square. 30 minutes of exercise is good for me, so the doctor tells me.

If you would care to join me on my ramble, please feel free to do so. You will be able to recognise me as I shall be dressed like this.


If you too would like to dress the same as me, you can buy your rambling outfit on Ebay. V for Vendetta outfits are going to be this year's thing, I can feel it.

Wednesday November 5th, Midday, Trafalgar Square. Packed lunch optional. Bring a friend.

If there are any legal experts out there who know of any reason why I should not be allowed to take 30 minutes exercise dressed as I please, feel free to let me know. Remember, this is not a protest, this is not a march, this is not a gathering - all of which are now illegal and you can be sure Mr Creedy WILL extract your DNA if you give him the chance. It is a merely a relaxing stroll in Autumn sunshine. No placards, no protest, no chanting. Got that? Good

HSE/ Risk Assessment: London, as you will know is a very dangerous place. Should you choose to ramble there, it might be wise just to bring a little cash for a refreshing pint afterwards and no ID or anything else that a "thief" might be interested in. Like a mobile phone, registered Oyster card or your driving licence. Place them somewhere safe and enjoy the fresh air, completely anonymously. Oh, and should anyone in "authority" ask me to remove my mask, I shall politely remind them that I am a female Muslim.

"There is something terribly wrong with this country isn't there?"
"If you see what I see, if you feel as I feel and if you would seek as I seek then I ask you to stand beside me and together we shall give them a 5th of November that shall never, ever be forgot."

UPDATE: V for Vendetta costumes are becoming scarce. Get yours now.

Also, for those who fear the fingermen, know your rights .

For those who have no idea what this is about, please view this short speech.

Thursday, 30 October 2008

We DON'T know where they live.

Some statistics.
There are 646 of them
They know who you are, they know what you drink, where you travel, what you vote, how much you earn, who you live with, they read your emails, listen to your telephone conversations, where you surf the web, they know when you will die, they have your dna and your fingerprints.
There are 60,000,000 of us.
Those 646 who control every single aspect of our short lives have decided that THEY would like to remain "private"
I really, really, really have had enough. There are 92,500 of us for every one of them. They are right to be concerned. Personally, I would prefer it if they were absolutely shit scared of us. As it fucking should be.
BASTARDS. Every night this week, I have stood outside a small pub in a small Cornish fishing village in the middle of fucking nowhere to smoke a fag. In the pissing rain. In the cold, fucking winter pissing rain. Because 646 cunts decided I could not have a fag with the landlord of his small pub in front of the fire. Whilst they can smoke and drink in a subsidised bar at the Houses of Commons. 646 of them can do this. 60,000,000 of us cannot. Because they said so.
No fucking wonder they don't want ME to know where they live.
You utter bastards. We are coming for all of you.

£750,000 for one year

Isn't she lovely? Baroness Ashton (Lab), Mandelsnakes replacement as EU commissioner, will receive £750,000 in benefits, after just one year after clamping her lips around the foreskin of the EU. £200K a year salary, £250K in "transitional payments". Just one year of meeting Russian Mafia on expensive boats will also entitle her to a pension of £8K a year, plus relocation, blah, blah, blah.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Bit Choppy Out

Apologies for lack of blogging. Currently sitting in a small harbourside pub, drinking rum and shrub having just got back from a spot of mackeral fishing.

Niesamowita burza

Sunday, 26 October 2008

A trip to the Barbers

I went to the barber’s yesterday. Nothing remarkable in that, except that the barber’s has just opened and I was his first customer.

£10 to keep my rugged looks was a bargain, I thought.

Turns out the guy is Turkish, speaks two words of English (Boss, 5) and is obviously straight off the boat from Istanbul. Now, when I’m travelling to weird places, I always make a point of visiting the barbers in some weird challenge to the HIV virus. I’ve had my head massaged in Kashmir and my stubble scraped in Marakesh, but I didn’t expect what I got in Braintree.

Face shaved. Not just my beard. All of it.
Eyebrows trimmed
Nose hair trimmed (!)
Ear hair trimmed
Neck shaved

Then came the best bit. Mustafa picks up a FLAMING TORCH doused in meths. Interesting, I thought. What’s he gonna do with that? Sterilise the comb?

Nope, the fucker sets fire to my ears. Really. Sets fire to them. I doesn’t hurt because it’s so quick and whoosh!, every last errant hair from my ears is gone. Took ten years off me, the misses says.

Now, as I said, I’m used to weird stuff because I get out a lot, but I have a sneaking suspicion Mustafa is going to get a very different reaction from the tattooed, Stella belching, sovereign ringed apes of Braintree when he tries to set fire to their ears.
Note: Photo above is from a Polish haidressers. Really

River Cottage

I quite like Hugh Fernley Witlessbastard.

I’ve been watching his stuff ever since he decided to travel round the UK eating roadkill and women’s placentas. He seems to me to be honest, reliable, a laugh and not doing any harm. Whilst he can get a bit Righteous (copyright LegIron), ultimately, the choice is up to me whether I decide to eat an organic chicken or a £1.99 avian abortion from Tescos.

What I do like is that he ultimately wants YOU to responsible for what you eat, whereas every other cunt in any position of power from Fat Tongue Oliver with his school meals and trying to indoctrinate fat stupid northerners not to live on a diet of pot noodles and fried lard to Gordon Browns “eat up all your greens” initiatives all want you do exactly as they say.

I also like the idea of spotting edible stuff around you. Since I have been watching his stuff, I have bought a rifle, been crabbing with the kids, caught mackerel with the kids (and a seagull, another story) and Farqham Hall now has three resident chickens (Felicity, Sally Jigzoid and Umdabanigi Sithole) to show the kids that eggs come out of chickens arses and animals need to be looked after if they are going to thrive.

There’s something very plain and simple about producing food that you eat. It warms my cockles and if Farqham Hall was larger, I’d own a pig. Instead, I sponsor a pig called Mohammed which will be sent to me when it is big enough and I will eat it.

So I read with amusement an article by AA Gill in the Times today that calls Hugh a cunt.

“Self-sufficiency is not an admirable goal, it’s small-minded, selfish, mean, mistrustful and ultimately fascist. It ends up with people waving shotguns at strangers over their garden gates.”

What do you reckon? The fact HFW went to Eton makes it all the more amusing. I don’t care what you eat, in fact, the sooner fat cunts eat themselves to death, the better, but I have to say, his recipes are fucking ace.

I think he is a mentalist of the good type. More like him please.

Friday, 24 October 2008

Parents do not have the right.

For some reason, Peter Tatchell, an unelected gobshite for poofs was on the Daily Poilitics programme yesterday.

Brillo interviewed his thoughts as to whether the State should be ramming cocks down 5 year olds throats.

Brillo: Does the State have a right to overule Parental concern on this issue?

Guerilla Gay Boy and non expert on child education: Do you think parents have a right to keep their (5 year old children) ignorant?

What a cunt.

2 minutes 10 secs in.
Peter, the thought of all those potential choirboys, already up to speed on rimming and felching, was visible in your deranged face.
Of course Peter was on the BBC advocating teaching boy on boy oral sex to five year olds . He wants to have sex with 14 year old boys
Hat tip to Houdini.

Rising Star

This is the man who threatened Journalists with being shot.
"There will be six or seven guys with guns who will keep you away from her. You may be shot and then it won't be my problem."

You can send him an Email if you like. I have.

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Bumper Grain Harvest

Obo is reporting a bumper grain harvest this year

Fucking farmers. I hate them

Compulsory Sex Lessons

"The government is expected to announce later that sex and relationship lessons will be made compulsory in primary and secondary schools in England. "

Woke up this morning to find that as well as every primary school being issued with a political officer to spot non labour voters playing with the crayons or in the sandpit, each primary school is now to instruct children in the fine art of “relationships”

This has me totally amazed. Not by the arrogance, I’m used to that from this bunch of cuntwafts who feel they need to invade every single space of our lives but by the bloody stupidity of it all.

Of course, it is blindingly obvious that children these days grow up quicker. They NEED to have babies at 15 or they won’t get a chance on the housing ladder courtesy of the tax payer and the promise of a one bed flat, surrounded by your dope smoking , Stella belching mates rubbing a scratchcard is so much more attractive (and immediately gratifying) than working hard, saving hard, living with your Mum until mid twenties and leading a “normal” life. And with a welfare hammock funded by us mugs, what have they got to lose?

Therein lies the nub. I know what a normal life is, you do as well. But the Righteous (copyright LegIron) are there to decide for us what their version of a normal life is and inflict it upon the innocents.

We can’t have billions spent on gay equality only for the innocent little bastards to reject it when they reach puberty, can we? Where would that leave the Righteous?

Instead, Janet and John MUST learn that man on man bum action or anal dildo fisting between two shaven headed, nipple pierced dykes is “the way of the world”.

At present, sex education is learned either from parents, their mates or Eastenders (in the case of the filthy underclasses, hence a cast of benders, psychopaths, sorry, mentally challenged, ethnically diverse cuntbubbles).

Result? Those who learn from their parents end up married with jobs. Those who learn from their mates end up living together with jobs and those who learn from Eastenders are busy pushing little Tyson around (father unknown) in a Social Security buggy, smoking Lambert and Butler and residing in the battered women’s refuge.

And the Righteous couldn’t possibly criticise the legions of agenda driven minorities and say “hang on a minute, does John really need to know how to rim and felch a grown man? He’s only 7 years old”. No, because that would “criticise” the armies of Righteous who’s votes have been bought with Gay Pride parades, civil partnerships and free condoms.

So instead of common sense prevailing, we will now have a situation where anything goes. Really. Anything. I can say no and home school my children, but do I really have to? Just so that they won’t be told by a hairy lipped sandalista that a turkey baster or a pot of vaseline is the way to a full and rewarding life?

As I’ve stated many times, I’m a Libertarian which means as long as what you do doesn’t affect me, do what you like. But the do what you like bit doesn’t include teaching my kids that what is not normal is normal.

So fuck off. When the first of my children comes home and tells me that they have been hearing about the joys of homosexual sex from a teacher at school is the day I burn down the house of the teacher concerned.

Leave me alone and for the sake of your health, leave my children alone. When will you stop telling us what to do?

(I have a sneaking suspicion that Schools in Bradford or Northern Ireland will have this little matter cleared up long before I need to get involved.)


Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Icelanders are not terrorists

Help us stop the abuse of the anti-terrorism act

Gordon Brown unjustifiably used the anti-terrorism act against the people of Iceland, for his own short-term political gain. This has turned a grave situation into a national disaster, affecting families in both Iceland and the United Kingdom.

Help us avert greater damage by signing this petition now.

On Wednesday October 8th, the British Government invoked anti-terrorist legislation, which was in effect aimed at the people of Iceland. This devastating attack on our society was received with disbelief here in Iceland, where it turned a grave economic situation into a national disaster. The people of Iceland have always considered themselves great friends of the United Kingdom. Our nations have a long history of mutually beneficial trade and have been close allies in NATO and Europe.

Hour by hour and day by day the actions of the British government are indiscriminately obliterating Icelandic interests all over the world and, in so doing, diminishing the assets that could be used to reimburse depositors with Icelandic banks in the United Kingdom and Iceland. The government's actions are also endangering the future of nearly all Icelandic companies and of the entire nation, in addition to over 100.000 employees of British companies with Icelandic connections. In this regard we would like to stress that the Icelandic authorities have always maintained their intention to honour their obligations in this matter, contrary to claims made by Chancellor Alistair Darling and Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

In these trying times, it is vital that we all work together to meet the troubles that lie ahead. We cannot let leaders, like Gordon Brown, destroy the long-term relations of our nations for their own short-term political gain. Mr. Brown would never have reacted to the collapse of a bank from a larger and more powerful nation by tarnishing its people as terrorists and criminals.

We, the people of Iceland, ask you, our British friends, to join us in the common cause of ending diplomatic hostilities between our governments. It is our hope that this will stop the unnecessary economic damage on both sides, so that we can start to rebuild and make amends.


Scottish Cuisine

Memo from RBS Director of Equalities

From: Sam Duggs (Ms), Director of Equalities, RBS

To: All staff

Good morning all and welcome to the State sector!

I have been appointed to the board as one of the government's new Executive Directors, to help bring a new direction to RBS as a forward facing institution providing fair and accessible financial services to all citizens who vote New Labour. To achieve this, we need to remind ourselves of our new core values, our social mission statement and our equalities and diversity agenda.

1. Lap dancing clubs are no longer a suitable venue for corporate entertainment. Departmental managers have been allocated block-passes to the new Museum of Menstruation which is currently running an exciting exhibition on the Glory of Hormones, and bank staff will be expected to undertake entertainment duties either at this or similar virtuous and educational venues. I myself studied Menstruation at Penge Womens University and it is fascinating.

2. The drinking of alcohol leads to personal degradation and is no part of the duties of the bank's staff. All alcohol consumption during working hours is henceforth banned. We do not wish to preach but 99% of women raped in pubs have been shown to be drinking. And Rohypnol is an ugly man's best friend.

3. Lunch on expenses may extend to a modest cold refreshment for each person; up to two sandwiches, a bag of crisps and a small bottle of mineral water per person will be considered the norm. Please do not purchase any meat products. Meat is murder.

4. Work-life balance is critical for personal well being. Staff are discouraged from working in excess of thirty hours per week. Women will be encouraged to discover themselves by remote working. A special Interlink thing has been set up from the Haringey Womens Breast Feeding Cooperative to allow new mothers to continue their essential tasks from a mother and baby Pilates session every Tuesday morning.

5. Female staff will no longer be required to sexualise themselves. High heels, hemlines above the patella, exposed cleavage and breast-enhancing brassieres are therefore no longer considered acceptable work dress. Jewellery should be plain and confined to a ring (if in a civl partnership) and a pair of earrings, and makeup is discouraged. Jute is very practical and has been shown to sustain entire communities in rural Shitistan. All religious symbols should be removed unless you are of the Islamic Faith.

6. Departmental managers have been given details of a number of social awareness workshops that staff must attend over the next few months. We have arranged an exciting series of guest speakers including Sylvia Clit from the Haringay Collective who manages debt counselling services to the Herbert Morrison Estate.

7. Stress management sessions have been organised for lunchtime well-being. Aromatherapy, Crystal Healing, Reiki and Nepalese Chanting will be available. A free snack of beansprouts and a nettle 'smoothie' is included.

8. Management consultants with wide experience in the NHS will conduct an immediate remuneration review to ensure that any gender bias in the bank's rewards structures is eliminated. The previous bonus structure has been dismantled. We are working on a gold star system which will allow high achievers to pick ethnically sourced goods from our environmentally aware Menu system.

9. In the interests of gender equality, ties are henceforth banned from the office. Male staff are reminded that in place of expensive Jermyn Street shirts, the bank's own range of Freetrade polyester shirts made by an amputees' co-operative in Mogadishu will be available from the new Freetrade Kiosk in the main building atrium.

10. A makeship mosque has been erected in the car park and calls to prayer will be piped diretly through the PA system.

I am sure you will find the transition into the State sector far less painful than you imagined. For those at risk of transition stress, counselling sessions will be available, free of charge until next March in the new Fidel Castro wing. I will write again shortly with details of the exciting Winterval of Diversity we have planned, including Wind Farm financing, How to Spot a Filthy Capitalist, Vegan Bonds and your guide to Government Minority Funding (hosted by Lee Jasper)

Yours empathetically,

Ms Sam Duggs (Ms) B.A
h/t to Raedwald

History repeats itself. Yet again

The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.

Cicero - 55 BC
Meanwhile Osbourne gives a speech on poverty, just having come back from a weekend at the Rothschilds villa and dinner on Russia's richest mans super yacht.
What an absolute bunch of cunts. Frank Fisher asks how many lives will be lost trying to eject these idiots from power. The sooner we get started, the sooner we will know.

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

This is going to be good.

Some filthy Lucre. With a picture of some bloke called Rothschild on it.

The letter from Nathaniel Rothschild, published in the Times today


Since your paper - along with your sister publication the Sunday Times - has made much out of what may or may not have happened at a private gathering of my friends this summer in Corfu, I thought I should make the following observations.
I am surprised that you focus on the fact that one of my guests, Peter Mandelson, is a friend of another, Oleg Deripaska.
Not once in the acres of coverage did you mention that George Osborne, who also accepted my hospitality, found the opportunity of meeting with Mr Deripaska so good that he invited the Conservatives' fundraiser Andrew Feldman, who was staying nearby, to accompany him on to Mr Deripaska's boat to solicit a donation.
Since Mr Deripaska is not a British citizen, it was suggested by Mr Feldman, in a subsequent conversation at which Mr Deripaska was not present, that the donation was "channelled" through one of Mr Deripaska's British companies. Mr Deripaska declined to make any donation.
I mention this because it turns out that your obsession with Mr Mandelson is trivial in light of Mr Osborne's actions. I also think it ill behoves all political parties to try and make capital at the expense of another in such circumstances.
Perhaps in future it would be better if all involved accepted the age-old adage that private parties are just that.

Love and Kisses

Nathaniel Rothschild,

Klosters, Switzerland

Statement issued by the Conservative party

The allegations made in Mr Rothschild's letter are completely untrue.
Both Andrew Feldman and George Osborne deny absolutely that they attempted to solicit a donation from Oleg Deripaska. Nor did they suggest a method by which he could conceal a donation via a British company.
They spent a short period of time on Mr Deripaska's boat at the invitation of Mr Rothschild. Donations to the Conservative party were not discussed with Mr Deripaska.
In a conversation on September 18, Mr Rothschild suggested to Andrew Feldman that Mr Deripaska wanted to make a donation to the party through one of his British companies. The offer was not taken up.
For clarity: the Conservative party has neither sought nor received any donations from Mr Deripaska nor any of his companies, you baconless tosser.

Now, we've had Mean Old Serpent (anag), Osbourne, Rothschild and some dodgy Russian Mafia partying away in Greece. Murdoch brought his yacht along.

This really is going to be fun. A Rothschild can pull just about every string there is to pull. Can't wait.

(note: Nathaniel Rothschild is a thicko and only got to University after Eton and the Bullingham Club because of a large amount of cash changing hands. He went to Wadham, Oxford but the tutors refused to teach him) Source

So who is pulling Nathaniel's strings?

"Give me control of a nation's money and I care not who makes the laws."

Mayer Amschel Rothschild 1744-1812

UPDATE: Guido is reporting that Blair is pulling Nathaniels strings

Monday, 20 October 2008

Sunday, 19 October 2008

Old McGorgon has a farm...

Old Holborn has taken leave of his senses and invited me to post my ramblings here. So I did.

Signed Leg Iron from Underdogs bite Upwards

Government blog warning: Repeated exposure to non-Righteous blogs might result in secondary thinking.

Today the woodwork has literally exploded with things crawling out of it. Our Righteous overlords have now demoted smokers from 'subhuman' to 'a target'. Once we were free men. Then we were numbers. Now we are one number, all of us, collectively. We are one number that must be reduced. We are to be exterminated. Because, as you anti-smokers smiling and clapping your hands at that statement believe, we are not human. We should be made to wear nicotine-coloured badges. Off to the camps with us. ASH has the Final Solution all dusted off and ready to go again. Ah, but will we be the only ones?

I'm getting all my tobacco overseas and paying no tax on it to this government. It's bad enough being dictated to by wriggling segmented things that ooze from the decaying panels of Westmonster bars (where they can still smoke), it's bad enough that non-smokers have the right to harass and abuse me in public and I have no right to respond, it's bad enough that the only thing that now counts as litter is a cigarette end, it's bad enough that even open spaces are denied me. It's worse that I will be denied the right to smoke in my own property where nobody else is present. I will not pay them to do this to me. No more tax.

I have a mobile phone. In fact, I have two. I paid cash because they weren't expensive enough to trouble a credit card. Both are pay as you go phones and since I hate talking on phones, a small top-up lasts for months. I am not a terrorist, even though I know far more about bacterial disease than anyone in the government would consider safe. I am not a criminal. The police have no record of me. Why, then, am I to be forced to register my phone as though I were some evil threat to all humanity? To stop terrorists?

Terrorists like those who leave their bins open. Terrorists like those who send their children to school. Terrorists like those who might have a friend over. Terrorists like the staff and customers of Icelandic banks. How many real terrorists have these laws caught? I'll be generous - you can include the research student who downloaded a copy of a terrorist manual because that's what his thesis was about. Yes, include him. He's the nearest you'll get.

The smoking laws, and the coming laws to prevent eating and drinking, are not about health. The carbon-footprint junk is not about the environment. The anti-terrorist laws have nothing to do with terrorists. They are about control of the population. They don't want us to stop smoking because 'it would be good for our health'. They want to condition us to do what we are told.

Those CCTV cameras, those phone taps, the bespectacled pinstripe anencephalic scanning the Internet (now pausing for a moment to look up 'anencephalic'), the Email logs, the DNA database, ID cards, none of those things have had nor will have the slightest effect on crime or terrorism. They are not meant to.

Criminals will fake ID cards. Criminals will steal the glass you were drinking from in the pub and leave it at a crime scene so it's your DNA that shows up. Criminals will steal your phone so when the crime comes to light, it's your door that gets kicked in at 3 am, not theirs. Criminals will fake your Email address and hack into your wireless network. Once more, your door gets the boot treatment.

These measures will not stop criminals. These measures are a godsend to criminals. Remember that gun ban? That told the criminals that nobody law-abiding had a gun so it was safe to burgle anywhere. Muggers loved the knife ban. DNA database? Perfect for framing a patsy. Tracked mobile phones? Perfect - steal one and your victim gets the blame. Email tracking? Spammers fake your Email all the time. They are still active, they have not been caught, so why would the criminal using your account be any different?

The measures are not intended to catch criminals. They are intended to create them. A whole raft of new prosecutions of people who thought they had nothing to hide and therefore nothing to fear. A whole slew of unsuspecting suckers who will wake to the 3 am boot-call. These saps will be fined heavily and then thrown out until the next milking time. You might well have nothing to hide. You certainly have something to fear.

Tame first, milk later. We are being domesticated by this government so they can pull us off the streets or haul us from our beds and take money from us under the pretext of ‘fines’. These fines are put in place on the pretext of ‘anti-terror laws’. The smoking ban, the attacks on the overweight and on those who like a drink, these are the softening-up approaches.

Do what you are told. Turn against the smoker, the drinker, the fatty, the driver. Shop your neighbour for throwing away too much. Turn in that litter lout. Denounce that man who walks past the school every day on his way to work. Threaten teachers with child abuse accusations which will finish their career and stay on file forever – even if proven untrue.

Tame that population. Keep them frightened. Make sure they can’t trust each other. Don’t let them learn too much. Change the rules about what is and is not offensive every few days. Riots? The laws are in place to deal with that already. Insisting on innocence? Double the penalty if they don’t confess straight away. They’ll get the message. Nobody is innocent. The word of the Official is Law.

And then, when you are tamed, you can be milked. Increase the fines. Turn the screw.

And when there is no more milk… well, ask a dairy farmer what happens.

1984 was not an instruction manual

Are you prepared to spend the price of a couple of pints for your freedom ?

On November 5th 1605 Guido Fawkes, 'the only man to enter Parliament with honest intent' sought to end the repressive rule of a King from Scotland who brought repression to the Country. The rule of the Stuarts ended on the battlefield of Naseby, with Absolutism subordinate to the rule of Law and Parliament.

The United Kingdom has now become riven with Cameras, unaccountable Local Authorities losing millions in Iceland. Who is speaking up for the people of this Country, as we are plundered as taxpayers to prop up the Banks, not the MP's thats for sure.

We want to send a message to Parliament, we want 646 copies of '1984', one to be sent to each member of Parliament- make your pledge at

to send a copy to arrive on November 5th. You can even nominate who you would like to receive it. Jacui Smith will be receiving my "gift" as I wander around outside Parliament, dressed as Guy Fawkes himself.

The Libertarian Party with the support of other organisations will ensure that each member of the Cabinet will get a copy, with an appropriate message.

Think - If you cannot be bothered to Act, then stop whining and continue to be 'taxed unto your meat and drink'

Do something. This is designed to gently remind the 646 bastards who are currently ruining the lives of millions that they rule by our consent and it is not perpetual. Remind them with a book

Governents should be afraid of their people. People should never be afraid of their governments.

See you all on the 5th. If you can't make it in person, send a gift of one little book to whichever of the evil 646 you choose.

ID required for all mobiles


The Gummint want to know which of the dangerous proles out there are talking to each other, so your mobile phone will now be registered on a database against your name, address, blood group, voting intention, exit visa etc.

It uses the IMEI number that every mobile has built in, nothing to do with the SIM card.

type *#06# into any mobile and it will show the unique number the gummint will use to tag you and listen to you telling everyone you are on the train

Download this free application before it is banned and you can change your IMEI number at will.

Fucking idiots. This really is worse than living in the DDR

Saturday, 18 October 2008

My walk - DETAILS

Dear all and sundry
For those wishing to take a stroll on the 5th November, I shall be taking suitable refreshment prior to my stroll from 11am onwards at

The Chandos.

29 St Martins Lane,




Here is a map

I will not be carrying a phone or ID of ANY kind. You will have to guess who I am. Here's a clue.

More details, if required from
See you there. It may well be your last chance. November 5th, 12 Noon, Trafalgar Square.
For those too remote or with better things to do than make an anonymous stand against all that is wrong in this country at the moment, you can watch on webcam


Snap Election Brewing

Woke up this morning to hear ZNL want to reduce immigration and keep the pound, imperial measures are sacred and not to push 42 days detention. Tomorrow they will announce a ban on Islam, single mothers will be tarred and feathered, taxes will be slashed and socialism declared not fit for purpose.

Ladies, Gentlemen, Transgenders.

Prepare for an election. Pravda are falling over themselves to portray ZNL as a government that is listening. They aren't. This is a trap.

Friday, 17 October 2008

A world full of CUNTS

A new series perhaps, unpolitical but full of venom and bile, to try and push my readership towards to 1,000 a day mark, when I can get proper pound coins from adverts instead of just the usual death threats.

I shall undertake to document some of the many countries I have visited. Those reading need to understand that with the exception of two girls from Sweden who I met in a Knightsbridge Hotel a long, long time ago, I hate pretty much everyone. And everything.

To be offended takes YOUR permission. Resist. Let the water run off the ducks back. Send no death squads.

Read the next thrilling instalment.

Scottish CUNTS. Free CD. Coming soon.

Rewriting History, bit by bit

Mrs Dale points out that a page on the ZNL website that used to shout about the 50 great things ZNL have done since becoming “elected” in 1997 has suddenly vanished.

Luckily Google cache still has it.

Here are the contents:

1. Longest period of sustained low inflation since the 60s. Highest rises on record

2. Low mortgage rates. Lie. Mortgage rates are high.

3. Introduced the National Minimum Wage and raised it to £5.52. Trapping millions on benefits

4. Over 14,000 more police in England and Wales. Sitting eating doughnuts whilst watching CCTV

5. Cut overall crime by 32 per cent. Prisons full, Jaqui Smith scared to go and get a kebab

6. Record levels of literacy and numeracy in schools. 1 in 5 children cannot read and write when they leave school

7. Young people achieving some of the best ever results at 14, 16, and 18. Have a GSCE A*. Plenty to go round for everyone

8. Funding for every pupil in England has doubled. OUR money wasted

9. Employment is at its highest level ever. Unemployment, including incapacity benefit has never been higher

10. Written off up to 100 per cent of debt owed by poorest countries. No you didn't.

11. 85,000 more nurses. - record numbers of nurses unemployed

12. 32,000 more doctors - record number of doctors unemployed and £100K for the rest. OUR money remember

13. Brought back matrons to hospital wards. - Liars

14. Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament. - They get to vote in England though

15. Devolved power to the Welsh Assembly. - ditto

16. Dads now get paternity leave of 2 weeks for the first time. - those who still have jobs

17. NHS Direct offering free convenient patient advice.- not FREE. WE pay for the NHS

18. Gift aid was worth £828 million to charities last year.- Again, OUR money you gave away to Lee Jasper and his ilk

19. Restored city-wide government to London - and now you hate it with Boris

20. Record number of students in higher education.- learning Wayne Rooney studies and Classic Hisory of Girls Aloud

21. Child benefit up 26 per cent since 1997. - Hence the swams of feral chavs belching Stella in taxpayers faces

22. Delivered 2,200 Sure Start Children’s Centres.- With OUR money

23. Introduced the Equality and Human Rights Commission.- allowing convcted Terrorists to live on benefits instead of being deported

24. £200 winter fuel payment to pensioners & up to £300 for over-80s. - 40% price rises in gas and electricity

25. On course to exceed our Kyoto target for reducing greenhouse gas emissions.- using OUR money to subsidise Renewable Power company profits

26. Restored devolved government to Northern Ireland. and bribing them £2B for 42 day vote

27. Over 36,000 more teachers in England and 274,000 more support staff and teaching assistants.- doing the worst job in history of educating our children

28. All full time workers now have a right to 24 days paid holiday - most will be working overtime instead

29. A million pensioners lifted out of poverty. and dumped straight back in it again

30. 600,000 children lifted out of relative poverty. and 2 million dumped in it again

31. Introduced child tax credit giving more money to parents. giving MY money to parents, you mean

32. Scrapped Section 28 and introduced Civil Partnerships. - no comment

33. Brought over 1 million social homes up to standard. - 42" Plasmas all round

34. Inpatient waiting lists down by over half a million since 1997. - one in 300 chance of dying of MRSA instead. Filthiest hospitals in Europe

35. Banned fox hunting. - Good

36. Cleanest rivers, beaches, drinking water and air since before the industrial revolution.- Largest fines for water companies contaminating it again

37. Free TV licences for over-75s. to watch celebrity pig wanking or Crimewatch

38. Banned fur farming and the testing of cosmetics on animals. - yet bomb children in Iraq

39. Free breast cancer screening for all women aged between 50-70. Not FREE. OUR money

40. Free off peak local bus travel for over-60s. Not FREE. OUR money

41. New Deal - helped over 1.8 million people into work. and straight back out again

42. Over 3 million child trust funds have been started. - WITH OUR MONEY

43. Free eye test for over 60s. to read their council tax bills with

44. More than doubled the number of apprenticeships. in call centre management or community cohesion studies, not engineering

45. Free entry to national museums and galleries. to while away the hours of unemployment

46. Overseas aid budget more than doubled. -whilst poverty reigns in the uk

47. Heart disease deaths down by 150,000 and cancer deaths down by 50,000. - in spite of you not giving people the drugs they need and have paid for over a lifetime

48. Cut long-term youth unemployment by 75 per cent. - replaced with incapacity benefit and prison

49. Free nursery places for every three and four-year-olds.- Allowing their mothers more time at the gym and nail studio

50. Free fruit for most four to six-year-olds at school. - Monkey see, monkey do.

Oh dear. No wonder the ministry of truth has got Winston to delete this little bit of history. The fucking cunts.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

FSA warned about Iceland in March 2008

I love it when bloggers go off and find stuff.

Hat tip to Lilleth

"Credit insurance for debts at Iceland's biggest bank, Landsbanki, is priced at 610 points while that for Kaupthing is priced at a hair-raising 856. Given that these two have taken billions in UK retail deposits, it may be a sobering thought for savers to consider where they are putting their cash. These banks are now seen as the most unsafe in the developed world."
Go and read
I have posted this to my council. Along with a fresh dog turd.

Now is not the time for blame games

Hat tip to Custard
It appears that the Local Gummint Association are in a bit of a quandry as to why so many councils kept our money in Lceland when every ther fucker got theirs out. They have released a statement.
For immediate release: Tuesday 14 OctoberContact: LGA Media Office 0207 664 3333
The Local Government Association has today called for a Government inquiry, led by the Financial Services Authority, into how credit ratings agencies continued to give Icelandic banks high credit ratings right up until a matter of days before they went into administration or receivership.
The call came as the LGA:-
Reveals the outcome of encouraging discussions with the administrators Ernst &Young. The administrators consider that that the value of the book value of the assets of Heritable Bank Plc and Kaupthing Singer & Friedlander Limited (both inadministration) appeared to be of the same order of magnitude as the liabilities.
- Publishes an update on how many councils have been affected, which shows that 116 councils are currently known to have had deposits in Icelandic banks, with deposits totalling £858.3m.
- Calls on councils that invested after the credit ratings were downgraded to anunacceptable level on 30 September to carry out their own inquiries to discover what happened.
Analysis by the LGA of the ratings issued by the main credit ratings agencies shows that Icelandic banks and their UK subsidiaries continued to receive relatively high ratings up until the afternoon of 30 September.
Analysis shows that:
28 February
Fitch's long-term ratings for Glitnir Bank h.f (Glitnir), Kaupthing Bank h.f(Kaupthing) and Landsbanki Islands (Landsbanki) were all A. Their correspondingshort-term ratings were all F1. Moody's reduced its long-term rating forLandsbanki from Aa3 to A2, and held their short-term rating at F1. Its long-term and short-term ratings for Glitnir were Aa3 and F1 respectively.
Fitch announces that Icelandic banks were being put on negative rating watch, warning that short and long term ratings on Icelandic banks could be reduced.
9 May
Fitch reduced the ratings for Glitnir and Kaupthing to A minus (long-term) and F2(short-term). Landsbanki's ratings remained the same but the outlook rating was changed to Outlook Negative.
30 September
Fitch reduced Landsbanki's long-term ratings from A to BBB and its short-termratings from F1 to F3. The long-term and short-term ratings for Glitnir were reducedto BBB minus and F3 respectively. The long-term and short-term ratings forKaupthing were reduced to BBB and F3 respectively. Moody's announced it was reviewing Landsbanki's ratings.
8 October
There was a general downgrade of the Icelandic banks' ratings.
Cllr Margaret Eaton, Chairman of the LGA, said: "This isn't the time for a blame game. This is an unprecedented situation, the extent of which could not have been forseen. However, at the appropriate moment, there needs to be a full and independent inquiry to find out just how these banks continued to get relatively strong credit ratings until a few days before they went under.
"No council should rely solely on credit agencies and must use their financial nous. But there must be confidence in credit ratings as councils continue to invest billions of pounds in a whole range of financial institutions. Our analysis dispels the myth that many councils were investing recklessly after credit warnings were issued."The good news for council taxpayers is that discussions with the administrators have been hugely encouraging. The administrators considered that the book value of the assets of each business appeared to be of the same order of magnitude as the liabilities, although it is too early to give exact figures."The evidence shows that, overwhelmingly, town halls have acted prudently and within strict guidelines to get the best rates of interest on savings whilst investing in institutions deemed to be strong. If it is discovered that individual councils invested significant sums following the credit rating downgrading, the LGA expects them to set up their own inquiries to find out what happened."Prudent financial management means that councils put their money into a diverse range of banks to make sure that any risk is spread to minimise the impact ofproblems in the financial markets. We are not aware of councils that are in serious imminent liquidity problems and in the long term we are confident that vital frontline services will remain unaffected.
I am awaiting the results of my FOI request to find out WHO advised my local council and WHO should have noticed in April that it was going tits up. Then I am gong to go round and burn his house down.
I want my money back. All £5 Million of it.


I notice that Sir Fred Goodwin of Royal Bank of Scotland is being booted out his job as Chief Executive for being a complete cocktrumpet.

Some numbers for you to mull over (courtesy of Private Eye)

Pay Off after being forced to quit after Gummint Bailout = £0

Performance Bonus last year for taking RBS into a position where it had to beg ME for £20 BILLION = £2.86M

His pension fund (not confiscated) £8.37M
I've posted his photo so if any of you bump into him in the Bahamas or Monaco, you can throw rocks at him.

Wednesday, 15 October 2008

It's only your money after all

Guido has a rather interesting little entry over at his blog where the BBC appear to be inviting selected Welsh fucktards to an Osama 08 Victory party in Cardiff. A little early perhaps?

Today, the Independent reveals through some very embarrassing Freedom Of Information requests, the following good use of YOUR money

Your money: How the BBC spends it

* Champagne: £57,000 a year
* Bottled water: £360,000 a year
* Taxis: £13.8m a year
* Christmas party: £250,000 a year
* Telephone bills: £21m a year
* Private school fees: £300,000 a year
* Air travel: £16m a year
* Hotels: £4m a year

OH has thrown out the telly and now watches Zattoo. It costs the princely sum of FUCK ALL. Download, install and enjoy, knowing that Jonathon Woss, Terry Wogan or any of the mongs on Eastenders or celebrity pig wanking live from Roehampton receive not one single penny of your hard earned cash.

They know where you live

I was having a little browse on Pravda this morning, to see if public opinion was being allowed past the red pencils of White City.

They’ve introduced a fascinating new feature on their comments section. You are now “invited” to put your name, address, postcode and telephone number in when you dissent against the Glorious Leader.

And it gets plotted on a map. For all to see.

Old Holborn wonders if any bright spark has thought about tagging these traitors and heretics to a GIS database. He wonders if any apparatchiks down at Stasi Central are quietly logging who is saying what and where they live. Perhaps they could use this vital information for “re-education” or “special attention” come Election time.

Do have a wander. It’s great fun knowing that your neighbour is still furious with Thatcher and can no longer pay the mortgage.

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

We Watch

Hat tip to the salted slug

"They tell us to watch what we say; They tell us to watch what we think; They tell us to watch what we eat; They tell us to watch what we drink; They tell us to watch the feral youth outside of our homes and prey they don't turn their attentions towards us; we avoid the imperious glances of the Police; we hide from council cronies with police powers; we watch a third of what we earn be spirited away to be graciously re-allocated to feckless pond life; we watch malevolent televised entities with plastic smiles and sincere tones shave away our freedoms one at a time; we watch and we despair."
Not funny, is it.

No more Boom and Bust

Seeing as Guido is being blackmailed by Winston Smith to rewrite history on behalf of Ingsoc, I'll do the piece on my private property. ZaNulabour top 30 howlers :

1) Tony Blair: 1997 Conference Speech

"I want this to be the New Labour Government that ended Tory boom and bust forever."

2) Tony Blair: 2000 Conference Speech

"The first big choice: a government with the strength to deliver stability, or a government that takes the country back to boom and bust."

3) Tony Blair: 2005 Conference Speech

"In the first two terms we corrected the weaknesses of the Tory years: boom-and-bust economics "

4) Tony Blair: November 2003

"If we want to contrast what we have done in the past few years on delivery with what the right hon. and learned Gentleman delivered, let us remember the interest rates at 10 per cent. to 15 per cent., the 1.5 million fewer people in work, the boom and the bust and the borrowing at 8 per cent. of GDP. "

5) Tony Blair: November 1999

"We have the best chance of ending boom and bust in years."

6) Tony Blair: November 1998

"...examine the legacy that we inherited and what we did. We had boom-and-bust economics and a doubled national debt. "

7) Tony Blair: 2006 Conference Speech

"In 1997, we faced daunting challenges. Boom and bust economics.....
Now, for all that remains to be done, dwell for a moment on what has been achieved."

8) Tony Blair: February 1999

"Moreover, for decades we have been prone to far greater swings in the economic cycle than our continental counterparts. It has been boom and bust....Under this Government, there is an entirely new framework for economic management in place "

9) Yvette Cooper: May 2004

"We know that they want to turn the clock back, but it would be foolish to turn it back to a policy of boom and bust. "

10) Alistair Darling: January 2000

"On top of that, we have a healthy and stable economy and an end to the boom and bust that characterised the Tory years."

11) Alistair Darling: March 2005

"As I said, there are two approaches—first, a strong economy, stability and helping families or, secondly, the Tory cuts, the undermining of stability, and a return to the boom and bust of the 1990s."

12) Alistair Darling: June 2007

"...acknowledges the outstanding performance of the economy under this Government with the longest unbroken economic expansion on record, in contrast to the boom and bust of the previous Government "

13) Gordon Brown: March 2007

"We will not return to the old boom and bust "

14) Gordon Brown: December 2006

"Boom and bust is a term that applied to the Conservative years and two of the worst recessions in history"

15) Gordon Brown: March 2006

"I have said before: no return to boom and bust."

16) Gordon Brown: March 2001

"We will not return to boom and bust. "

17) Gordon Brown: November 2000

"Our approach is to reject the old vicious circle of the '80s--rising debt, higher long-term interest rates, higher debt repayment costs, lower growth, higher unemployment, then enforced cuts in public spending. That was the old boom and bust. "

18) Gordon Brown: March 2000

"Britain does not want a return to boom and bust. "

19) Gordon Brown: November 1999

"Indeed, Britain was set to repeat the old, familiar cycle of boom and bust. Since then, we have created and rigorously adhered to a new framework of modern economic management "

20) Gordon Brown: November 1998

"Britain was set to repeat the boom-bust cycle that led to 15 per cent. interest rates for one whole year in the early 1990s. "

21) Gordon Brown: June 1998

"rigorous financial discipline that, together with monetary stability, ends once and for all the boom and bust that for 30 years has undermined stability "

22) Gordon Brown: May 1998

"The Government have put in place policies to deliver that objective and are determined to avoid a return to boom and bust. "

23) Gordon Brown: April 1998

"We will not return to the stop-go, boom-bust years which we saw under the Conservatives. "

24) Gordon Brown: November 1997

"I am satisfied that the new monetary policy arrangements will deliver long-term price stability, and prevent a return to the cycle of boom and bust."

25) Gordon Brown: July 1997

"Today, the Bank of England has agreed with me that, if we are to prevent the cycle of boom and bust, inflationary pressures in the economy, which the previous Government negligently failed to tackle, must be brought under control "

26) John Prescott (Pie eating fat waste of space): January 2005

"Labour economic stability has replaced Tory boom and bust "

27) Alan Johnson: February 2000

"The Government's first priority on coming to office was to secure long-term economic stability and put an end to the damaging cycle of boom and bust."

28) Douglas Alexander: June 2006

"there are genuine questions to be asked about why we now have the highest level of employment in many decades, contrary to the position during the boom-bust years of the Conservatives."

29) Ruth Kelly: November 1999

"The Government have rejected the boom and bust of the Conservative party "

30) Ruth Kelly: May 2002

"We must avoid a return to the days of boom and bust that manufacturers had to endure for a long time under the Conservatives. "

hat tip to Daniel Finkelstein

UPDATE: Christmas is coming. Give the Political Animal in your life a gift to cherish.

Their Special Day

Monday, 13 October 2008

Buy another hot tub, debt ridden chavs

Here's Unite joint general secretary Derek Simpson a few moments ago:

"The measures announced today must be bound to undertakings by the banks of no job losses, no repossessions and an end to the bonus culture."

Yes that's right, no repossessions. You can see Simpson's logic here. After all if a Labour Government now owns or controls four High Street banks (RBS, HBOS, Bradford & Bingley and Northern Rock), then the banks' policies should take on a socialist hue.

Yet how would this work in practice? It is almost an invitation to anyone with a mortgage with any of these banks to default - and let the taxpayer pick up the tab.

Simpson's comments might be easy to dismiss in a crisis, but for Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling, they will become increasingly politically difficult to ignore.

Important note: Unite contributed £1.5million to Labour in the three months to June. That's £4 out of every £10 which the party raised in the second quarter.
H/T to Christopher Hope
Oh FFS. Until the feckless 42" Plasma-ed, 4x4 driving, PS3 gaming, big bore exhausted, Disneyland wiv Nannah this year FUCKTARDS feel any pain for bingeing on unearned money, they are doomed to repeat it.
I give up. Every fucking penny I earn will now be taken by the Politburo to keep the tattooed stella belching underclasses in the style to which Labour has encouraged them to become accustomed. Just in time for fucking Christmas.

Fix the bucket

Sometimes, a picture paints a thousand words. This one paints 18.
Oi Darling, you fucking cunt, fix the bucket first, BEFORE you fill it back up again, you cocktrumpet!

A letter to the Bank

Dear RBS, LTSB and HBOS,

It appears that your accounts with us are in arrears, and you are now overdrawn by £37bn. Please be advised that we will be charging you interest of £200m per day.

You will also be charged £50m for this letter, this covers any admin, and falls under the 'serves you bastard well right' legislation.

Failure to repay will give us no option but to remove all fat cats from your company, and we will also reclaim any houses & cars from them, or indeed any of the vicious bastards who work for you.

Yours Sincerely,

The British Public

PS Please desist from taking any more "consolidation, one easy payment" loans from one eyed men or people with ridiculous eyebrows. It is a 419 scam. We realise you will continue to do exactly as you please, in the full knowledge that you will never be held accountable for your actions. But in the interests of public order, do not even think of rubbing it in. We WILL burn your houses right after we have torched the properties of the crazy 646.

OH still says we should have let the whole thing collapse, picked through the rubble for any salvage and started again from scratch. With currency based on gold reserves, not the contents of Rothschilds iPod.

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