Monday, 29 September 2008

Cake or Death

What a bunch of arse. I know everybody is fucking sick of smokers and we should be beaten to death with blunt instruments but it’s the hypocrisy I can’t stand.

I pay a bastard fortune (post tax) to smoke. I like it. I know it is going to kill me but it is my choice, alright? Fuck off and mind your own business and be grateful for the truly humungous amounts of tax I pay for the privilege. Tax that you don’t have to pay. I have to stand outside an empty pub, watching the landlord go broke. I have to huddle in the rain to get my fix and I have to listen to the fucking EU telling me what a cunt I am as they empty my pockets.

Yes, the EU. These unelected pricks have decided that “health warnings” are not extreme enough to make grown men cry and women weep. So they are going to make us look at a picture of a healthy lung from a dead person and an unhealthy lung from a dead person. As if there is any logic at all in that at all. They are both dead after all.

And then I saw how much damage the people who want to tell me what to do with my life are actually causing other innocent people. People who want to grow crops and sell them in Europe. But they can’t. Because the EU won’t let them and makes me pay a bastard fortune for food so they can run a “common agricultural policy and subsidise red faced, fat fingered, Range Rover driving farmers to grow stuff we don’t want at prices we shouldn’t be paying.

Oh bollocks, just watch:

So, you EU Bastards. I would like YOU to print a little picture of a starving non EU child on every packet of subsidised food sold in Europe. I want people to know what YOU are doing to the rest of the world, you cunts. I want them to know how many people YOU are killing whilst taxing me to death.

Bastards. You fucking, cruel, heartless, racially "superior", vicious BASTARDS. If I die of smoking, rather than jogging, at least I have paid you for the privilege. These poor bastards never stood a chance. I don't know how you can sleep at night.

The man who took this photograph commited suicide afterwards. He won the Pulitzer Prize and his name was Kevin Carter. Frankly, I would have done the same.


tongue firmly in cheek said...

Do try to keep up here! There are far too many people in the world at the moment and this is just the EU's way of reducing the numbers. You smoke yourself to death and the Africans starve themselve to death. Simple - job done.

Tomrat said...

tongue firmly in cheek,

Whilst I am sure you are just trying to be facetious you should try the following:

1. Take a rough estimate of the worlds population, lets use the wiki answer 6,725,000,000.
2. Roughly estimate the land mass required to feed one person (hint: look up "global hectares" on the wiki page) - this estimates there are approximately 11,000,200,000 hectares of biologically productive land and water available on this rock.
3. It takes 0.45 hectares to produce enough food to sustain one human per year, therefore there are nigh on 3.6 times as much land as is required to sustain our population.

We are not overpopulated, except by morons.


Your forgetting the most important part; your smoking will kill you off before you can take full use of the fineries of old peoples homes, palliative care and dementia, whilst I will be reaping the rewards; bwahahahahaha!hahaha oh...

electro-kevin said...

I'm thinking of posting this to Ellee Seymour - she works for Julian Sturdy MEP. Do you think she'll like it ?

AngryDave said...

I have never met a poor farmer. Fuck the hippies, free trade not fair trade.

Mark Wadsworth said...

"I would like YOU to print a little picture of a starving non EU child on every packet of subsidised food sold in Europe."

Nice idea. But I don't like those pictures. Will we be able to choose to buy non-subsidised, non-regulated and probably cheaper food without the picture?

Custard said...

Smoking is possibly the most socially responsibe thing you can do.

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