The Children of Npower Customers meeting to report their parents yesterday
My flabber is ghasted. I have just read a rather interesting little piece over at Spiked! that details where the latest menace from the Greens is going to come from. They are not happy that they have infiltrated every part of the social structure, they are not content that their presence is invasive in every part of our daily lives from recycling bins to organic curtains.
Oh no. They have a new Champion. In the classic Soviet style, the only power that can really stop these crimes is the one commiting the most.
Ladies, Gentlemen, Transgenders.
I give you NPOWER.
npower has created a new website encouraging kids to become ‘Climate Cops’, giving away diaries to ‘record climate crimes at home and in your community’ and to ‘encourage others to switch-off and conserve energy’. Children are instructed to email details of the ‘biggest climate crime’ to npower, which might send a team to ‘help you bust’ the perpetrators
Oh yes. NPower wants the details, names and addresses of the criminals in your childs house (and mind). It will send a team (!) to visit them and show them the error of their ways. The Corporation that currently produces VAST quantities of CO2 and vast profits for it's shareholders is showing the way to a corporate youth movement. Disciplined. Reporting back. Shopping their parents to the "company" for abuses.
I shall be writing them a letter to tell them that if I even suspect they have coerced a child to report my private behaviour or consumption of the "earths resources" (that Npower somehow think they own) then they can expect a ton of fucking coal to arrive in their offices, along with a lawyer, an officer of the Data Protection Register, the Police and any other body dedicated to my service.
So Npower. Your little scheme to produce child eco spies who will report on their parents is now in the bloggosphere. I am going to set up a similar scheme for Npower employees to report on YOUR affairs, your little secrets and your energy wastage. I will then invite every Npower shareholder and customer to view what YOU get up to, you facist little cunts.