Thursday, 24 July 2008

Leave me ALONE

I am not a number! I am a free sheep!

I’m a Libertarian. Lots of people ask me what exactly that means, so to clarify a little, let me explain. I used to be a Liberal on the grounds that I detest Labour who constantly want to run every single aspect of your fucking life, from how much you can put in your bin to how many alcohol units you can drink or where you can smoke or…bollocks. You get the picture.
I couldn’t vote Tory either because basically, they are rich cunts who couldn’t give a shit what happens along as they can make money out of it, and I believe that life is for living, not for acquiring vast fortunes. Then I realised that the Liberals are just wishy washy versions of the other two parties. They would arse rape you too but are too polite so go off and wank furiously at the thought in a layby near Harrogate.

Right. So where does my vote go?

Libertarians. What does a libertarian believe in?

My life, my responsibility – This means that if I want a house, I get a job that will pay me enough to buy a house. This means I will need skills that people will pay for. This means I need to be half ways educated. So, I studied, got a good job, earned enough to buy a house and bought one. Not exactly remarkable but millions of people out there prefer to let the State organise all of that for them. The end result is that the State, who frankly couldn’t run a bath, educated them. So they are thick. So the State let’s them go to university where they study “Wayne Rooney Interactions and Paradigm shifts”. They pass and now have an utterly useless qualification. So they can’t get a good job because they are thick and not qualified. So they turn to the State for Tax Credits to supplement their income stacking shelves in Aldi. Now they can just about afford a house but shit themselves each month when the bills drop on the mat. One percent change in Interest rates will see them living back with Mum and Dad. Is that a free life? Nope. It is bonded labour to the all powerful State.

If it is not expressly forbidden, then it is allowed. That used to be the case. Want to put a model of a shark on the roof? Go ahead. Want to drill for oil in your own garden? No problem. This has now all changed 180 degrees. Britain has become a place where unless it is expressly allowed, consider it forbidden. How many times have you thought “I wonder if I’m allowed to do that” recently? Every single part of our lives is being run centrally and it pisses me off. If what I am doing is not hurting or lowering the quality of anyone else’s life, why the fuck should they be interested? But they are. Very interested. I am monitored, tracked and studied by everyone from Tescos to the TV licensing people. Libertarianism says “look. Fuck off. Leave me alone, alright?If I came up to you and continually flicked you on the cheek, you'd ask me to stop, if I didn't stop, you'd end up smacking me one. Don't say you haven't been warned.”. (H/T Snowolf)

So in summary, if you believe that ultimately, when lying on your deathbed, you had the life that you wanted because you took responsibility for it and can die happy, then you are a Libertarian. If you gasp and mutter that not enough is in the bank, that awful Mr Wilson let you down, your lot was shite, wouldn’t it have been nice if only…etc, then you are exactly the sort of twat that the three main political parties feed off.

Libertarians may or may not die rich. They may or may not die famous or successful. But they DO die happy. Because they did it their way.
So join. It costs a tenner, you get a nice little badge and a keyring that could start some great arguments down the pub. You also get the feeling that you might just be taking the first step on a road YOU want to travel, and not being herded down the M6 on a Friday afternoon with all the other morons.
There is no left or right in politics any more. This battle is about one thing, Authority versus Liberty


Vindico said...

Nicely said.

Always reminds me of that scene in The Life of Brian - "We're all individuals"

max the impaler said...

Spot on old son.I've always been a Libertarian, but never had a name for it.I never could understand,having 'grown up'in the sixties and seventies, why those who always professed to love freedom, drugs,booze, self expression etc.etc always voted fucking socialist. Never made any sense.

V said...

I joined a while back and it really puts a smile on my face every time I look at the keyring.
It isn't that it makes much of a difference, but it means I am honest with myself.

My Life, My Responsibility.

How is that for a catchphrase which explains libertarianism in a sound bite?

Bobsheadrevisited said...

Cracking stuff, OH.
I used to be a Socialist. I eventually grew up.
Socialism tries to change people into being something they are not and never can be. It can only do it by force. Libertarianism, at least, lets us be.

I guess I count myself as a Libertarian. It's about time I joined.

Mark Wadsworth said...

You bloody Libertarians, honestly! Have you any idea what sort of anarchy would ensue?

We might end up with little old ladies taking photos of an empty paddling pool, or something dangerous like that.

haddock said...

any party will have politicians.... that's the problem. DK telling me what is 'acceptable' will piss me off as much as any of the others. I have tried to provoke him into explaining the difference between Libertarianism and Literate Bloke's Anarchy and where Libertarians become Libertines....
I vote UKIndependence.... because they are the most libertarian of the lot.....

and vindico...... I'm not !

Old Holborn said...

The difference as I see it is that any Libertarian MP will have pretty much no power other than organising the defence of our borders and keeping the streets safe. And will be paid accordingly.

Libertarianism is not anarchy. It is order of the individual BY the individual. Something we all happily do every day when the State is not trying to do it for us. When was the last time the State cooked you breakfast? They would if they could. They would employ millions to wipe your arse if they thought they could get away with it. Look at Soviet history.

My version may be different from DK's. Your version may be different from mine. The crux is that no law will exist that says you have to do it DK's way. Or mine. As long as you are not adversely affecting anyone else, do what the hell you please.

That is not anarchy. Anarchy simply says "I will do as I see fit". Wrong. If what you see as fit starves a million children, then that is not Libertarianism.

UKIP hates you if you want a federal EU. I don't. Have one. Just don't put your EU laws on me. If you want to live by them, fine, go ahead. But do not DEMAND that I do.

See the difference?

Tomrat said...

The keyring does make me smile a bit, :-), and has raised some interesting conversations with friends I can tell you.

I too was a socialist reformed - ideals are great to have but to press them on others will only lead to you believing you have some kind of authority over them and that never leads anywhere good...

Anonymous said...

Excellent summary, though I don't agree that anarchy (the absence of rulers) necessarily means chaos.

I am an LPUK member but was disappointed by the keyring because despite appearances it doesn't turn into anything.

Old Holborn said...

"disappointed by the keyring because despite appearances it doesn't turn into anything."

I take it you haven't worked out that it is a bottle opener yet then. It is also fantastic, when held between the middle and index finger and thrust into the eye sockets of the sallow faced hooded ferals who infest our land. I put a small notch on mine each time one is blinded.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

I prefer the saw blade from a swiss army penknife - across the eyebrow. Makes the fuzzy-wuzzies run away & think again.

Tomrat said...

Old Holborn,

Ok, how the funk does it turn into a keyring? (note: I have no sarcasm gland so cannot tell when it is being used)

Old Holborn said...

For the love of Jesus

ozo said...

Any political system will work fine as long as it follows the basic idea that every political decision considers the individual. Even in a "democracy" the individual is always in the minority by any definition of democracy that makes any sense.

Of course, the problem with individuals is that each and every one of them has a very specific and uniqe set of ideas, desires, motivations, psychological makeups and goals. This makes it quite tricky to make political decisions because you would end up with a system that took so long to consider a decision that the decision would make no sense by the time it was finally made.

I'm not a politician — probably quite obviously — but I understand what it means to value a person's rights to do what they want. I can say that so far my decisions in my 38 years have never directly caused anyone else any genuine harm and I have certainly never acted with any kind of malice toward anyone. I'd like to think that my lifestyle will be allowed to carry on in this way but as the owner of several cameras, a motorcycle and a predilection for herb-based relaxation habits I can see that my future will probably be subjected to the kind of ratchet legislation that the public at large are only too happy to be kept in the dark about.

Old Holborn said...


The individual is the only thing that has changed anything for the better. Ghandi. Mandela. Walesa. Gorbachov. Luther King. The list is endless.

They have shattered violent blood thirsty empires with not a drop of blood spilled. It IS possible.

You have 70 (+/-) years on this earth. Make it count. You only get the one chance after all. If only for yourself and those who love you. You have nothing to lose. We all end up dead anyway.

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